Voices

So many of us joke about the voices, makes you wonder if the people that really hear them can tell the difference? And what makes us different? If the voices are always chatting at me, why don't I do what they say? I would hope that I have enough sense to know that it's garbage, but what if one day I forget? What if one day I can't separate it? I do fear that. Or that I'll forget why I continue the struggle.

I guess I could make this nice spiritual thing out of it. You know, I need to die to self. I need to die is what is being screamed at me. Hmmmm, not the same I think. Sometimes I just need to say it. I've come a long way with depression and I don't want it back and I don't want more therapy or drugs. Ugh. So tried of them. I think what needs to happen is to use this opportunity of dying to self to actually effect a change. It's easy to always say, I want to do this or that but harder to walk it out. When I quit smoking it was a bit of a process and the biggest change I need to make is to lose weight. So I'm going to keep on trying to one day at a time to try try again try again and do this. I don't have to be a twig, just not a mighty oak. :)


Thanks, I needed this.