What Would You Talk About

I had some time with a friend today talking about the Lord. She has such a strong religious background I don't think she understands the difference between religion and relationship. I finally asked, so if you were sitting down and talking with Jesus what would you talk about?

Funny thing is, I then began to wonder, what would I talk about? Ponder that. There are so many things that I would like to discuss, but they are not what I would have thought. So I thought of a few things:
* Why do churches break up? Did I miss the big picture?
* Am I on the right track with my thinking? Is the picture bigger than I even think? Will you show me the bigger stuff? I want to see beyond what I do.
* Can we run the race to the end? Can we win? I have a friend that believes we can get there, I am beginning to think we can transform beyond my previous thoughts.
* I know that bad things happen, I want to know how to really reach those that survive it. But I really don't want to lose my children to understand. I want to know how to hear God when I'm with these people.
* She said she wondered if she is raising her children well. Mine are almost grown, and I wonder. They are very good kids by most standards, but did I do all I could. Should I have been stricter? In some ways I'm very insecure about this one. We home schooled, and I'm not as discipliened as I should have been. My kids didn't make the honors. I worry.
* How can I be more like Him? Will He change me? Will I ever know total peace?
* Can I make a difference?
* Can I see through His eyes? Can I love like He does? Why wasn't this question first?
* Will I ever really trust completely? Will I ever stop knowing that I can walk away because I do know the darkness. Sadly I made choices to understand it, and it's far too real to me. Just a choice away. Yet He holds me and retrieved me from it.

My family has been blessed, there is no doubt. I see my sons have a heart for God, they seek Him with a thirst that amazes me. I know their journey will be hard, for they have much to learn. We gave them to God as children and I know He may take them places I would not have chosen, but I've known for some time that He is ordering their steps. Yet I am insecure in what I've trained them in.

Some days I say the desciples that walked with Jesus had it better for knowing him, but then I know He sent the Holy Spirit to teach us. Some days you just want a hug.