I had some time with a friend today talking about the Lord. She has such a strong religious background I don't think she understands the difference between religion and relationship. I finally asked, so if you were sitting down and talking with Jesus what would you talk about?
Funny thing is, I then began to wonder, what would I talk about? Ponder that. There are so many things that I would like to discuss, but they are not what I would have thought. So I thought of a few things:
* Why do churches break up? Did I miss the big picture?
* Am I on the right track with my thinking? Is the picture bigger than I even think? Will you show me the bigger stuff? I want to see beyond what I do.
* Can we run the race to the end? Can we win? I have a friend that believes we can get there, I am beginning to think we can transform beyond my previous thoughts.
* I know that bad things happen, I want to know how to really reach those that survive it. But I really don't want to lose my children to understand. I want to know how to hear God when I'm with these people.
* She said she wondered if she is raising her children well. Mine are almost grown, and I wonder. They are very good kids by most standards, but did I do all I could. Should I have been stricter? In some ways I'm very insecure about this one. We home schooled, and I'm not as discipliened as I should have been. My kids didn't make the honors. I worry.
* How can I be more like Him? Will He change me? Will I ever know total peace?
* Can I make a difference?
* Can I see through His eyes? Can I love like He does? Why wasn't this question first?
* Will I ever really trust completely? Will I ever stop knowing that I can walk away because I do know the darkness. Sadly I made choices to understand it, and it's far too real to me. Just a choice away. Yet He holds me and retrieved me from it.
My family has been blessed, there is no doubt. I see my sons have a heart for God, they seek Him with a thirst that amazes me. I know their journey will be hard, for they have much to learn. We gave them to God as children and I know He may take them places I would not have chosen, but I've known for some time that He is ordering their steps. Yet I am insecure in what I've trained them in.
Some days I say the desciples that walked with Jesus had it better for knowing him, but then I know He sent the Holy Spirit to teach us. Some days you just want a hug.
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I hope you don't mind me intruding on your blog. But I love your ideas on this one. I guess my answer would be...I talk to him everyday in my prayers. And that brings me up short. Because often my prayers are disjointed and more about my day to day stuff than asking about the more serious stuff like you list in this post. What questions would I ask?
*How do I give people around me peace, comfort and guidance?
*Help me to understand why bad things happen and what I can do about them.
*Will good really triumph in the end? Can I really make it through all the bad stuff that will happen before you come again?
*Do you really love me...me personally...do you know my name...do you know that I love you..Am I enough of a disciple that you will call me your friend?
*Could you show me my divine potential so that I know that I am capable of doing anything you ask?
I guess his answer would be given in these two scriptures..."ask and it shall be given" and my personal favorite "yet will I not forget thee...behold I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands".
Thank you for giving me the chance to read a blog that is about what is most important in my life.
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