The Decision

So, we asked God to end this stuff at the church quickly. He did. Again with the concept of "be careful what you ask for." The pastor announced last night that he is not wrong, he has not handled anything wrong, he did act angry a few times and we should forgive him for that, and this is going to be a traditional church and if you don't like it you should leave. We had been told previously that we could write out any questions we had, last night we were told that they were hurtful and we had been mean to his family. I'm not seeing that.

All in all, my family will leave. While I still believe the man is in sin and at one time I thought we should be there as a voice of the truth, that time is no more. He is in the hands of God for him to deal with (it always was, but we were continually praying for him - being there helped us focus on that). We will step out and see what God is doing in other places in our city.

This is not the first time we have dealt with things like this, I hope it's our last, but I doubt it. Sadly men in leadership forget they are responsible for the sheep under them and it's easy to fall into sin. I long for the day that God is more fully revealed in the hearts of man.

Now, the migraine that has troubled me all day is getting more demanding of my attention. It wants noise reduced and lights out. I think I shall do as it requests.

Journal #3

So we've reached an impass..... (think Princess Bride)

AP resigned..... his letter "I'm resigning due to the conduct of xxxx in his role as pastor / shepherd of xxx church.

Based on Eziekiel he carried his stuff out of the office publically and slowly (as if going into exile). This caused much uproar, he was well loved. I had been at his home the night before praying with his spouse and that was not the plan. I believe God did this to bring it all out in the open.

Now we are waiting to see what will happen with YM and music guy (he's on vacation, he's way stressed - he messed up one Sunday, never seen him do that). They have called in a mediator, great plan if you are a business but sucks when the pastor hand picked him and filled him in before they all met together. However, they announced a meeting last Wednesday, we will answer all your questions they said. Many, many people came. We got a sermon on the tongue and were told that we could write out all our questions and the pastor would review them. They kept saying they were there because were was "conflict among the staff" but never said what it was. I finally raised my had and surpirse they acknowledged me. I asked that they state what the conflict was. The mediator said, "Several months ago some people left the church, part of the staff wants reconciliation, part believes there is no need." Then he asked if that summed it up, some said no, but he didn't go any further. There were a few more questions, but no answers.

The previous Sunday the worship was dead. This Sunday was interesting. I went because my son led worship and I wanted to be there for that. Worship was good (okay even if I wasn't his mom it wasn't bad) but pastor didn't show. And he didn't bother to tell his staff where he was. Chairman of the deacons announced he took some time off. I've heard he went out of state to meet with his dad. I don't know.

This is a brief summary of much action. There is a lot of hurt, a lot of anger. I don't see me there any longer. I belive what I said after the prayer thing, I'm done there. My concern now is for my sons, the youngest is still in the youth, and I would like him to remain under the youth minister until that changes.

Pray for this church. I honestly believe that if the pastor doesn't repent he will perish. While I have tried to maintain respect and not state everything this is what many of us believe. I think he was brought here by God to be confronted with his sin, but also that he should repent and have much ministry in the future. I still pray for him, I would rather that he repent and be blessed. I have seen two times where God did judgement on people, and I hope to never see it again.

Journal part 2

Now, Harry has left the church, over the next several months, so did 140 others. This church averaged around 350, so it was noticed. The people leaving were solid folks, tithers, very involved. It was a blow.

During this time I had met with the pastors wife a few times trying to get to know her. At one lunch, she lied to me about how the AP was brought it. I've looked at this from many sides but I keep coming back to the point that you know who your husbands friends are, particulary a 15 year friendship. Now remember, I really do like AP.

Things that were upsetting besides the Harry issue were that many of the previous ministries were being stopped: the mission trips to a South American country (we were told we were wrong not to have been teaching them to be our denomination - you know, the great commission "go forth and make them *** denomination"), there were several they tried to stop but people rebelled; I can't name them all, but it was quite dramatic.

One of the things that was fundamental to the group of people that were leaving was that reconcilation must be done. Over time the YM went to Harry and acknowledged his error. He also was reaching out to the youth that had left the church, in essence, remaining a pastor to them even though he wasn't "responsible" for them. I found this so wonderful, shows he really has a pastors heart. Then I found out the same with the AP and the music minister. They were all reaching out to those that had left, not to get them back, but because they loved them and were concerned for them.

During this time I started getting close the the AP and his wife. I found that they have a heart for ministry. I also found out a lot about the pastor that I had hoped was not true. But they confirmed things that others had witnessed: outburst of anger, making fun of the people, spreading gossip, subversly trying to fire / or get people to resign when he got frustrated with them (one of these was my son, however he was doing such a good job they couldn't fire him - oh, he has gotten his dream job since - God was faithful to him).

It has all come out now, the pastor found out the youth pastor reconciled with Harry, he wanted him out of his job. Pastor went to AP and said, we must make him resign. AP went to the others and outed it. I need to clarify, in the previous months, the YM, MM, and AP all realized the wrong that had been done and have come to believe that pastor is walking in sin (this would be pride, arrogance, basically pride of life). He is much like King Saul. So, pastor found out about AP telling them, punished them by not allowing anyone but music guy to be in the service the next week (pastor can't sing) and not talking to them.

During this time many things were happening in the body. People have become aware of the chaos. They were getting direction from God about what to pray, most had the same scripture: Eziekiel was the main one. There was also Acts 5 and 9. One was the point that when Pharoh hardened his heart, he lost everything but didn't die until he chased the Hebrews in anger. The before mentioned confretation at the alter was during a time of prayer about all of this. Too much to record, but I found it exciting that so many had such a burden.

Chapter 3

Journal

Today I am simply journing some of what has happened in the life of the church for the last several months. You would find this boring and that's fine. I'm frankly ashamed to write this, but I must to straighten out my thoughts. Let me first say that I'm not pleased that we even have denominations and I think we overlook much of what Christ taught in order to advance our own adgenda. I believe we must focus on the basic teaching: love one another, do justly, do what is right and what humbly before our God.

We bought in a new pastor last Easter, his father is well known in our denomination but I believe that our search committee did an excellent job in seeking out who God wanted. Shortly after he arrived he brought in a man to be associate pastor. This particular church is structured such that the pastor can hire anyone he wants, we don't vote on that, but the church votes on the financial package (I think most people didn't realize that until now, other positions the pastors prior had always sought input from the congregation). As it turns out, the AP (associate pastor) is now well loved, but many of us were upset with how he was brought in.

The first hint I had of upset was when our music minister left. I knew no specifics, but for this man to leave without a job lined up was strange, and there was obvious tension. However, I thought very little of it. The man that replaced the music minister was also given the position of missions pastor. He has also become well loved.

Next you should know about our youth minister (YM). He's been at the church for many years but served with the youth as pastor for 5 years. I've been amazed at his passion for youth, for outreach, for everything. He is well loved and I for one have always felt like God will do much with this one.

So around November there was a man in the church that is very well respected: deacon, pastor advisory committee, Sunday school teacher, pretty much everything. He is also well respected in the community, even by people that dislike his stand on issues (he is involved in politics, but really, his "enemies" dislike his politics but all say he's a nice guy). This man began questioning some of the new pastors actions, things that when he was interviewing he said he wouldn't do. He tried to make appointments to talk with him and was put off for over a month. This situation escalated, meetings were held and the man was vilified. It became quite ugly. Lets call him Harry. Harry had 3 meetings with the pastor, he was only in the last meeting allowed to have someone with him, in between the meetings it was spread throughout the church that Harry was trying to take over the church, that Harry was upset because he wanted a different type of government, that Harry was spreading dissention. My children were told this by office staff. Harry ended up leaving the church, many people were confused because while they had known him many, many years and had never seen him act out, that surely the pastor would not lie.

Harry's Sunday school class, which I went to, was so confused. See, Harry never defended himself or shared publicly what had occured. While Harry is no saint, there is a reason he is well respected. Harry's wife is one of my closet friends, and even I was confused that such a thing had happened. Surely this was total misunderstanding, yet in my heart I knew better. Anyway, the AP was sent to the class to explain to us why this happened. The people in this class are overall quite strong Christians, that understand how to deal with conflict. Many of them work for a parachurch company that is located here. We were very kind to AP, however upset that the pastor would not come and talk to us. Fianlly he agreed to come. He brought with him: the SS director, music minister, and two of the deacons. Talk about intimidating, however, I even asked hard questions (mine was: do you think that in any of this that you have done anything wrong? He said no). And instead of giving us unlimited time, as was promised, he still left early with us asking questions. End of chapter one.